Thursday, July 17, 2008

Top 10 Reasons I'm STILL pregnant

Oh, you've stopped to see if I've had a baby. Well I haven't and frankly I just don't know what the deal is. I'm going to the doctor at 9am today (105 minutes from now) and seeing if we have any progress or if she has a legitimate reason (aside from pending insanity) to take this child out of me by whatever means necessary (is there a consent form for that I've already signed?).

While my back and hip ached this morning from 6am until I finally decided the effort of rolling over to get out of bed was worth it I comprised the following David Letterman Top 10 List style post in my head.

Top 10 Reasons I'm STILL pregnant

10. My daughter is establishing who is boss.
9. So that I can be asked the question "when are you due" more times then any other person on the planet.
8. So that when I respond to the question and people look directly at my "eviction" site (aka crotch) expecting the baby to fall out right then and there I can roll my eyes at least 15 times a day.
7. To establish a solid walking program prior to her being born.
6. My daughter is working to teach me patience. While I commend her effort I think we all know that this is not making me more patient it's making me a bad patient.
5. I don't enjoy spicy foods and this is my punishment. Everyone says have sex, go for long walks, drink blackberry tea, wash your windows, do all the laundry, eat something spicy. Well I've done EVERYTHING else and let me tell you it's NOT working. I don't like spicy but damn it I am eating something red hot spicy today.
4. To increase my blog traffic. I'm staying pregnant so that all of you can look to see if I've had my baby multiple times a day. I hadn't looked at my numbers since I moved over to Blogger and I was all kinds of flattered that people actually care. So thanks for that.
3. I really needed a work vacation so Lexi is really just enabling that. Thoughtful, but seriously ENOUGH.
2. So that my husband finally calls me up and FIRST asks how I feel prior to telling me what he needs/wants/would like me to do for him.
1. I'm afraid of Pitocin. But this may be an opportunity to get over my fear. So what if I itch all over - I'm all about over medicating.

13 comments:

Multi-tasking Mommy said...

I liked #4 the best! Cute.

You'll have her soon enough...don't worry!

Naturally I'm sure, but even if you need the drip, in the end it won't matter cuz you'll have a beautiful baby girl and that will be all that counts.

Kellie said...

I'm here many times during the day--I can't help it. I'm sorry.

Love your list--wish I could jiggle my muffin top like a princess wand and make Lexi come out already for you. Although, if I had that kind of power, I'd jiggle it and make my muffin top vanish, which means I wouldn't have it to make Lexi come out. Huh. Interesting.

Seriously. Do you not LOVE how I go off on a tangent and forget the point to my comment? No? You don't love it? I'm sorry.

I know I keep saying this, but really--hang in there--here's to hoping your doctor will obey your wishes and evict that baby :)

Madame Queen said...

How do you feel about eggplant? There's a restaurant in Atlanta whose eggplant parmesan is notorious for putting pregnant ladies into labor. It's famous for that, in fact.

lilfootsmommy said...

Do not be afraid of Pitocin! I was afraid of Pitocin, until I actually had to have it and then realized it really was not all the bad that I had heard from the over-dramatic pregnant ladies of past had made it out to be. Rule # 1 of pregnancy, don't listen to the over-dramatic people who make pregnancy and child birth sound like a terrible experience. Everyone's experience is different good, bad or whatever the case...so everyone has to experience it for themselves.

jenny said...

cass - i love your list! too funny, i was just thinking about dave's top ten lists the other night! well done - as i'm assuming your baby is about now too after being in there so long.

so, when are you due anyways? bwwaahahahaha! don't kill me. :)

chefmom said...

SEE?! Madame Queen even knew about the epplant! I love your list and I too am on her about 50 times a day. Do NOT be afraid of pitocin. You're already 2-3 cm, so they'd only have to give enough to get labor started. I had it with both pregnancies and truly, you'd rather have it and get labor overwith, then wait it out.....for hours or days. I hope the DR. says it's today!! Except I'm going out for the day and don't want to miss this!

Michelle Smiles said...

Sadly, I've heard of the eggplant place too.

I won't give you any tips to start the process...just some sympathy. One good thing about a scheduled induction - I KNOW when I can stop being pregnant. Because this child wouldn't come on time if I was going naturally. She doesn't seem particularly inclined to speed things along at all. Which is okay because we have a plan in place that I would like to stick to (which involves someone being here to care for my daughter so I can go give birth to this one).

Anyway, good luck today. Maybe you'll get good news!

Casey said...

I feel bad for you, maybe the doctor will accidently start things up while checking you today.

Anonymous said...

I was 12 days past my due date with my first, and 5 days late with my second. Hang in there. :)

Steph the WonderWorrier said...

At least you know she's fully cooked and will come out all healthy and beautiful!

You're like Rachel on Friends... "I'm going to be sad to not be pregnant anymore... *few days past due date* GET OUT! GET OUT!" hahaha.

It'll happen, and when she's finally here you'll forget about all this horrible waiting!

And like Casey said, maybe the doctor will push you along a little bit! That seems to happen sometimes!

Steph the WonderWorrier said...

Oh, and P.S. I too constantly check your blog waiting to hear news... LOL. It's just so exciting!

Pocklock said...

My SIL said hot baths. I'm sure there's something WAY wrong with that and that I just opened up your blog comments for all the trolls in the land.

Maybe you won't see them if you quick, get in the tub!

Oh Lexi dear... Mommy's going to torture you with the story about how you would NOT come out if you don't evict yourself ASAP. And you don't want your best friend to beat you here. That would NOT be good for Mommy and Auntie Pocklock's friendship AT ALL!

Morgan said...

This will not help, but I was 2 weeks late. Both of my children were born on the day I was going to be induced. ....Patience is a very hard thing to learn.